Found or Created

The intimacy of feeling safe in someone’s energy and arms. Yes my love language is very much physical touch (platonically and romantically)

One of my paintings from September 2022

I don’t know if she found it or created it.

I have this spot that instantly soothes me.

If I’m tense, even the thought of her gliding her fingers over it while I wrap my arms around her neck calms me.

But I didn’t know about this special soothing spot until two years ago.

Holding and being held in a way that made me feel safe — and comfortable.

Her short nails gently scratched the small of my back as I melted into her embrace.

That night, in order to feel the same comforting, warm sensation, I mimicked the motion to help me fall asleep.

That’s when I realized it works.

But does it work because of her energy or the motion itself?

Did she create the spot for me through her caring fingers or was it always there, waiting to be found by someone who dared hold safety in their hands?

I’m not sure. But I do know that when I fear her absence more than I feel her love, it’s harder for me to connect to that safety —

therefore it no longer works.

But the moment I remember her love for me exists,

I can sleep knowing that her touch still soothes me. Her energy calms me.

I can’t even really be mad when she’s around. I’m usually frustrated when I don’t get to spend time with her

but once her comforting scent hits my nose

I know that her touch is somewhere following close by just waiting to be received and make me melt into her arms again.